somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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