Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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