you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
why is half of my head shaved?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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