I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize