Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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