We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize