I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i will never coherently bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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