I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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