his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize