I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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