where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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