I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
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