pop tarts are not kleenex
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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