Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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