Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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