his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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