I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
This is not my ceiling
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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