Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
We smell like vodka and hangover
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