so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
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I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
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So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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