dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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