her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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