i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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