You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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