Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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