She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Sober January is a disaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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