You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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