Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
this boner is exhausting
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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