so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
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Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
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I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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