Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize