It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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