I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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