Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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