Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
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he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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