The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
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Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
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I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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