just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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