I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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