His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize