That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
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I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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