Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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