Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize