i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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