I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize