I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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