I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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