So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize