Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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