know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize