It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize