PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize