fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
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I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
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How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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